horse hair and dog food

Construction of The Pentagon began during the same year the U.S. stopped sleepin' on like the biggest event of the decade, World War II. Shit was mad crazy during those times. The military needed all sorts of otherwise useless garbage to throw at the Axis (Japan, Germany, the Mario Bros.). Since the baby boom hadn't happened, and Carl Finacken's patented baby-pult was frowned upon by pro-lifers everywhere, the army had to settle on bullets, sabers, and atomic bombs.

And the construction of such materials, unlike babies (semen + drunken flewsy = baby), took a lot of ...well materials. With China solely in the firework game, we had no one to supply the means for massive debt. The American people's only recourse? Sacrifice.

And sacrifice they did. The excess Bath and Body Works lotion Molly would lather up with every morning had to be culled by Jimmy, her pervert little brother, from her back and used to jack his dicky-dack-dack while the sink ran on low to drown out his self-gratification grunts. Yes, times were hard.

Back to the Pentagon. Because of the shortage of materials the soon-to-be Department of Defense Headquarters was insulated with horsehair.

So when the plane hit the Pentagon, witnesses say the whole area reeked of old, burning hair.

They also add that all the candy machines in the area of the impact burst, shooting mentos, good n' plenties all over the damned place.

When I think of the stench of burning hair and brightly colored treats everywhere I am reminded of the place of my birth, Ogden, Utah.

Ogden has a dog food factory near downtown. Inside, blood and bones are burnt, spreading a wretched stench all over the city. When you factor in the grotesque smell brought by Westerly winds from the mostly putrid Great Salt Lake you start to get my drift.

I fucking loved that city.
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