possibly the biggest party pooper ever (maybe)

So I wrote Sirhan Sirhan (the guy who assassinated (maybe) Robert F. Kennedy) about an anecdote one of my professor's told my class. His response is hopefully on its way (maybe).



Dear Sirhan Sirhan,

You don't know me and there's no reason why you would. My name is Talmage and I live in Portland, OR where I attend school for unknown reasons.

I recently came upon an audio file of your new lawyer presenting the case for clearing your name. His argument was strong and his spirits high. If nothing else, his legal ramblings should grant you a re-trial of sorts. Good luck to you.

I believe there are thousands of people locked up in the American justice system unjustly. In my humble opinion, you are one of these people. I do hope some rotten conspiring government journeymen get their comeuppance and spend time in the very cells they condemn the innocent.

I was wondering what prison is like for an innocent man? What are your days like? Read any good books lately or is that not allowed? There's a lot I don't know about prisons.

I just recently learned cakes with files baked within are rare, if not impossible.

The reason for this letter has to do with my screenwriting professor. He claimed he tutored you in the Russian language. During one of these sessions someone gave him the news of John F. Kennedy's death.

This is quite a coincidence. That is, to be in the presence of the guy (you) who reportedly shot RFK while finding out about the assassination of JFK? That would be an American's definition of irony, sir…Han.

My professor's name is Charles Deemer. He is portly and maintains a rather loud voice even throughout private conversation. His teeth are bad. I would really appreciate it if you could verify, or decertify this, because Professor Deemer is, to say the least, a blowhard, and I would love nothing more to sully his reputation in front of a large group of people.

Sincerely,

Talmage Larry